Often when men try to get an ex girlfriend back in their life, they go about it the wrong way. Either they do what they think will work based on their own male psychology, or they don’t even think, but just act. When you are going through the pain of a break up, it is easy to find yourself acting out of desperation rather than logically thinking through each move. If it is important to you to get her back, then you need to understand a little bit about how the female mind works and then act accordingly.
What is it that makes a woman attracted to a man? Why might she be attracted to you one day and the next lose interest? What can you do to renew her attraction to you and get her back in your life?
First you must understand that men and women are very different in what attracts them. Have you ever seen a beautiful woman on the arm of a less than attractive man and wonder how he ever got to be with her? The answer is simple. While men are mostly attracted by physical appearance, women are more attracted by men’s behavior. This is fortunate for you because although you can’t very easily change your appearance, it is possible for you to change your actions.
So, what behaviors are women attracted to and what behaviors will get them interested in you again after a break up? There are behaviors that are turn offs and behaviors that are turn-ons. To get her back you need to stop any turn off behaviors you may be doing and start some turn on behaviors.
The first turn off behavior is actually a common progression in many relationships. In a new relationship, guys usually show off a bit, act very confident and competent. After a relationship moves past the initial stage, both partners become more comfortable and this can lead to a change in behavior. Men often stop acting as cool and confident and may even begin to show insecurity or indifference to the relationship. This is a turn off to women and must be stopped. Instead show enthusiasm for life and be confident again. Be careful not to overdo this because too big of an ego and false confidence are turn-offs for women.
The next negative behavior is pushing your ex to get back with you. This can get annoying to the woman, especially if she’s already told you it’s over and you keep asking her to give you another chance. Guys sometimes think that women are «romantic» so declaring your love for them will help win her back. Unless she has convinced herself that she wants you back too, this will not work; it will only push her farther away. What you have to do is convince her that she does want you back, but not by arguing and persuading. You need to convince her that she wants you back by your actions. She has to come to the conclusion on her own that she wants you back. And she’s only going to do that if you change your behavior.
This brings us to the turn on behaviors. The first is to give her some space. It may be difficult, because it may feel that by giving her space you are giving her the opportunity to meet someone else and forget about you. Be honest with yourself: by not giving her space she will feel more driven to get away from you and meet other people. By giving her space you are taking the pressure off her and allowing her some freedom. This is OK.
Next, you need to focus on your own life. Get interested in other things, go out and spend time with your friends. Get busy enjoying your life. Go out with other girls if you like. It is a good thing to introduce a little bit of jealousy and curiosity at this point. If she calls, don’t rush to answer. Let it ring or go to voice mail and call her back the next day. Tell her that you’ve been busy and didn’t have a chance to get back to her the day before. This will show her that you are engaging in life and are not spending your days mourning your old relationship.
Through all this it is important to maintain a friendly relationship with your ex. Be kind to her. Kindness is one of the behaviors women are most attracted too. Especially after a breakup, treating her with kindness and respect will show your character. Plus, if you are nice to her it will show her that you still care.
To get your ex girlfriend back in your life, you need to understand what behaviors women find attractive and recognize things you are doing that may be a turn off for her. Don’t act complacent or insecure and definitely don’t push her to get back with you. Stay friends with her and be kind to her; kindness and chivalry go a long way. You also need to show her that you are still your own person with your own interests. Persevere. By using female psychology, it is possible to get your ex girlfriend back in your life.
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